Often times we wish for things in our lives that we think
will make us happy. We believe that if
we have certain things we will have the feelings that we’re looking for.
But what I’ve learned (and have read in every new-age
self-help book) is that in life, love, and the pursuit of happiness, it’s best
to focus on the feelings you want to experience rather than the things
themselves. Why? Because you don’t know what things will
actually give you the feelings you’re looking for; you can only guess. And then you might discover, as I did, that
you are wrong.
So all that being said, I’m making my own list right here of
the things I used to wish for and the feelings that I now realize those things
translate to.
FAME – I used to think I wanted to be famous. I think in today’s society, it’s easy to
believe that unless you’ve succeeded to the level of being world-renown, you
haven’t accomplished anything in whatever endeavors you’re attempting to
pursue. I now realize that what I really
want is the ability to choose my work.
I’d like to be well known enough to have work find me, instead of me
going out to look for it.
MONEY – I used to think I wanted to be rich. Again I can reference today’s society, and
how you’re made to believe that you won’t be happy without all the
bling-bling. I now realize that I don’t
need to be that kind of rich because what I really want is to live life on my
own terms. For me at this point in my
life that means doing work I believe in, traveling regularly – for work and
pleasure, having my own home (large windows and abundant space for bookshelves
a must, everything else is negotiable), being able to buy wholesome and nourishing
food, and the ability to shop for clothes at the Gap or books on Amazon without
looking at the price tag. Oh and having
money leftover to save and share.
BODY - I used to think I wanted to have a perfect body. See dead horse: Today’s Society, which makes
you believe that unless you look perfect you are not deserving of love or
happiness. I now realize that as long as
I feel strong and energetic and happy in my skin, it doesn’t matter what I look
like.
RELATIONSHIP – I used to think I wanted to have a
relationship/marriage. See: Every single
Hallmark card on the planet. I now
realize that what I really want is to connect with people, to feel close to
people. And I can get those feelings
from friendships. Yes, I understand that
it is not the same as a romantic relationship.
But my desperation to be with “someone” lead me to make many foolish
dating choices, and robbed me of much potential happiness. I am now very happy to be “with myself” (as
opposed to by myself) and if someone wonderful should come along to share that
happiness, that would be lovely. But if
not, that’s fine too. I am happy, and
will continue to be happy either way.
So there you have it… It’s an interesting exercise to break
down your desires into feelings because when you get to the root of it, it’s a
lot easier to get what you want than you might initially have thought.
